Christmas often feels magical, with sparkling decorations, festive gatherings, and joyful music. But for some, the season brings a painful reminder of loss and longing. Recently, I heard a Christmas song with the lyrics: “I know there’s been pain this year, but it’s time to let it go. Next year, you never know. But for now, Merry Christmas.” For many, those words are hard to hear. Letting go of pain isn’t that simple, because grief doesn’t take a break, especially over Christmas.
The very things that bring joy to others in this season may only deepen the sorrow for those who are missing loved ones, facing broken dreams, or experiencing personal heartache. Whether it’s an empty chair at the table or a longing for what could have been, these moments point to the question: Where is the joy in Christmas?
The answer is not in denying our grief but in acknowledging that grief and hope can coexist. Expressing grief does not mean rejecting faith. Scripture is full of stories of deep sorrow. Job lost everything. Elijah felt so overwhelmed he prayed for the Lord to take his life. Hannah wept bitterly for a child. Over a third of the Psalms are laments, honest cries of anguish directed to God. If the Bible doesn’t hide the stories of grief, we don’t have to either.
grief and hope can coexist
Jesus is our great high priest who sympathises with our weakness. He experienced loss, rejection, and sorrow. When his friend Lazarus died, Jesus wept (John 11:35). That simple act of weeping reminds us it’s okay to mourn, to feel deeply, and to bring our grief to God. Jesus doesn’t ask us to hide our pain for the sake of celebration. We can take heart that “The LORD is close to the brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” (Psalm 34:18). God meets us exactly where we are, not where we pretend to be.
The gospel doesn’t erase the pain we feel, but it transforms the way we grieve. It reminds us that our sorrow is not the end of the story. Following Jesus fills our hearts with the hope of resurrection, renewed creation, and a material world free from suffering and death, where every tear will be wiped away. (Revelation 21:1-4). It’s because of these truths Nancy Guthrie writes, “The hope of the gospel doesn’t take away our grief, but it gives us the ability to grieve with hope.”
This Christmas, whether you are grieving or walking alongside someone who is, remember that grief is real, but so is God’s promise to make all things new. The God who entered our broken world in a humble manger in Bethlehem is the same God who offers us his love and comfort through the presence of the Holy Spirit. The true joy of Christmas is found in the truth that Jesus – Immanuel has come and will come again. God is with us, now and forever.
