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Reflections on fatherhood

Jun 15, 2021

Irene and I have been attending St Andrew’s since 1985. We are grand-parents with four grown up children: two married daughters and two sons who are still single.

My father passed away when I was six. I was brought up by two mums together with six siblings. We were very poor, and in their desperation my mums even considered giving us away for adoption. In growing up I have never been fathered by a man. I sought approval and affirmation from a father all the time. That drove me to become a perfectionist and affected my relationship with my children. When I became a father, I had no idea how to relate to my children emotionally. I made many mistakes along the way until my emotional wounds were healed after becoming a Christian and God revealed His fatherly love to me.

God revealed His fatherly love to me.

The process of healing began as I learned how to be a father from studying the relationship between God as a father and Jesus His son. I was given the opportunity to talk to each of my children, acknowledging the mistakes I made as their father, and sought their forgiveness.

As a father my strongest desire is to see our children develop a personal relationship with God and walk closely with Him daily. We are their intercessors, exercise faith for them, confess their sins on their behalf, and pray for their salvation. We are called to serve, to teach, to bring order and discipline in the home, to provide for our family, and to pray for God’s protection. I often put the whole armour of God on them by praying Ephesian 6:13-17. We must also not forget to lay hands on our children and speak blessings into their life regularly.

On this Father’s Day, let those of us who are fathers encourage one another to take up the challenge to reject passivity, to accept our God given role and responsibility as a father, to lead courageously as the head of the family, and expect great reward from our Father in Heaven.

Ronny To
St Andrew’s Trustee

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