Polly and I first joined the St Andrew’s community in 2012, shortly after moving to Hong Kong with our four boys. At the time, we’d recently celebrated a decade of marriage and felt ready for a new chapter. Now, as we approach our 25th anniversary with two boys off at university, I often wonder, ‘Where did the time go?’
Back in September, we decided to attend a marriage conference at church. It had been years since our first and only other one, where we won the “newest married couple” award. While we had no burning issues to address, we looked forward to the opportunity to reflect, receive wise counsel, and consider ways to strengthen our relationship.
The conference was rewarding in all the ways we hoped, but my favourite part was simply spending time with Polly. The teaching was encouraging, and the structured time allowed us to reflect and have meaningful conversations. It was also an opportunity to reconnect, not only with each other but also with other couples committed to growing their relationships.
Looking back on our time together, I realise how much we’ve changed since those early days. I’m so thankful for Polly’s perspective. While her viewpoint isn’t always convenient for my opinions, it can sometimes be frustrating, especially when it becomes clear that her perspective is better than mine! However, I really appreciate the insight she brings into our life together.
structured time allowed us to reflect and have meaningful conversations
Polly has always championed the idea of ‘date night.’ She latched onto it early in our marriage and has continued to gently nudge me to prioritise time for just the two of us. Whenever we make ‘date night’ a regular practice, it always benefits our marriage. I can’t argue with the results, our relationship is healthier when we set aside uninterrupted time for each other.
More recently, as our two oldest boys headed off to university, we entered a season of goodbyes. We knew this day would come, and as hard as it is, it’s offered me a fresh glimpse into Polly’s caring and nurturing heart. From tearful airport farewells to her thoughtful messages in our family chat, Polly’s love shines through. Her way of staying connected with the boys has inspired me and shown me how to be more present for them, even from afar.
There are countless ways that Polly’s perspective and example have blessed and challenged me, far too many to recount here! One of my seminary professors once said, “Your spouse will never be all you need.” Yet I’ve come to understand that neglecting her insight and how the Spirit speaks through her is a missed opportunity. I’m so grateful to share my life with Polly and benefit from her wisdom and perspective, which often helps me to see things from a clearer and better perspective.
